(This is the fourth post of Child Health series. Kindly read the Child Health – 1, if you haven’t read it yet.)
Today we will talk about the mental health of the child. You might be surprised by what’s there to talk about a child’s mental health. But a nice healthy mind gives rise to a healthy body. If the child isn’t feeling happy from within, he won’t be physically fit.
What are the signs of an unhealthy mental status??
- Excessive anger, Temper tantrums
- Extremely fearful, hesitant
- Very shy and introvert
- A constant frown or lack of cheerfulness
- Exam fears, bedwetting, nail biting, thumb sucking, chewing clothes, stomach pains.
- Hitting others, biting others, destroying toys, mobiles.
- Sudden dip in grades.
- Sudden change in behavior – talking too less, or too much, crying too much.
- Disturbed sleep, sleep talking, sleep walking.
- Sudden weight gain or weight loss.
- Falls ill very often
- Has some serious long lasting illness – eczema, psoriasis, tonsillitis, adenoids, asthma, epilepsy, tuberculosis. Serious disease like – juvenile arthritis, juvenile diabetes, kidney disease etc.
These are the signs you should look for. Please note – these signs do not mean that your child has a psychiatric problem. Please don’t get scared. It just denotes that your child isn’t feeling well from within, that’s why he/she is showing such signs. He/she needs someone to talk to, understand her fears, anxiety. He needs to be asked about what is troubling him, where is he facing the difficulty.
Reasons for these mental features –
- Negligence by parents – many of the parents are working 8-10 hours a day, and the child is with a maid. So the child may feel unloved or neglected. They cry when mom leaves for her office, or feels betrayed when they vanish suddenly. Such kids throw temper tantrums or excessive crying, so that they get the desired attention.
- Over-pampered – The opposite end of the spectrum is over pampering by parents and grandparents. If parents are working 8-10 hours, they try to compensate by showering too much love in the rest of the hours. Dada-dadi or nana-nani are pampering the kids with chocolates, ice creams. They are always supporting the child, and don’t allow the parents to scold the child. These days due to smaller family, a lot of love is concentrated on the single child. Previously due to multiple children in the house, the kids learned the concept of sharing. But the kids these days get everything that they demand, and the parents and grand-parents are even fulfilling the requests.
- Troubled house atmosphere – constant fights among the parents, between mother and mother in law – this really affects the child’s health. They become scared, anxious, introvert. Dad hitting the mom, mother crying in front of the child, alcoholic dad – all these seriously affects the health of the child.
- Excessive studies pressure – Kids these days are under a lot of pressure from studies. The number of subjects keeps on growing, the hours of studies are increasing, and the books are getting bigger and bigger. There’s no time for sports or creativity (singing, music, dancing, painting). Keep a relaxed atmosphere, understand your child’s capability and interests, and keep a balance of play and studies.
- Internet & gadgets – This is one of the biggest culprits. Children these days are getting influenced by the internet a lot. A child shouldn’t have a personal smartphone/tablet/laptop till he enters college. The internet is filled with harmful content, and most children are exposed to it because of the generation gap, the parents never come to know of all these harmful things. There are TV shows which are meant for the youth, shows with adult content, drugs/alcohol influence, and even pornography. Trust me the child’s innocence is taken away by these gadgets. I have had boys come to me who started masturbating at 12, and girls who have lost their virginity at 15 too!! It may be too shocking, but it’s the harsh truth.
- Smoking, hooka, alcohol – yes this is growing in school children, not just in college students.. atleast 10-20% kids have started smoking or drinking beer from school days. Parents are simply unaware of this trend.
- Physical abuse – You have to keep this factor in mind too. The kid is exposed to multiple people – peons, maids, servants, bus drivers, cooks, etc. Also please note, girls as well as boys can be a victim of sexual abuse.
What steps can you take??
- Please check your child’s bag/phone when he is unaware, don’t give him too much money, and give it only when required, do not over pamper,. Be strict with the child, have strict house rules and maintain discipline.
- Talk to your child daily. Play with him – carrom, video games, cricket, badminton etc.
- Make him comfortable. Listen to his views properly. Understand the present trend. The child shouldn’t feel he would be scolded if he is says the truth. Or you won’t understand him because of the age gap.
- The child should never sleep with his bedroom door closed. So is the case with phone locks. There is a thin line between privacy and secrecy. I want my privacy is a big shield everyone uses these days.
- But please do not stalk your child, or be too intrusive. Show them that they are worried and concerned, but not suspicious.
- Most importantly – be a role model for your child. Parents are the biggest influence on children. If he sees dad gets angry and gets his work done, they also start that. If the father smokes, and the mom drinks alcohol, the child feels even he can do it. If the mom is on the phone or TV, the child does that too. If you lie to your child, the child will lie to you.
- Improve your Child’s mental health by developing hobbies such as reading, journalling, meditation.
These were a few alarming signs that you should keep in mind, and also the measures that you can take to improve the condition of the house. Please do not hesitate to seek the advice from a counselor or your homeopathic doctor or pediatrician. They see hundreds of such kids and know how to help them.
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